...The “King of Europe” and Other Tumors of Rhetoric

— A brief weekend reflection on the rhetorical absurdities of Polish politics — where pity and irony meet on common ground, and the language of power sounds more like a medical diagnosis than a statement of purpose.

When I read that Zbigniew Ziobro, after the vote on his parliamentary immunity, told Telewizja Republika that “an obvious setup has been exposed” and called Donald Tusk “the King of Europe – in fact, the King of Thieves,”...

źródło: "Król Europy jest królem złodziei". Ziobro krytykuje po głosowaniu w Sejmie

I could only feel one thing: pity.

Not for Tusk, mind you — but for Ziobro himself. Because if a man in his condition calls Tusk “the King of Europe,” then, forgive me, the metastases have clearly reached the brain.

Tusk today isn’t even Brussels’ doorman anymore — more like what the old Polish band Maanam once sang about: “less than zero.”

Let’s be honest — is there anyone in Brussels still shaking Tusk’s hand? And if so, certainly not in front of American photographers. Just ordinary human prudence. One stray photo like that, Trump happens to see it — and the poor soul is… well, finished.

Let’s leave it at that. It’s the weekend, after all.

— This English version was translated from the original Polish by ChatGPT 5 AI